IIt’s been a long day, a tough time at work. You feel like something has been off lately but you can’t put it into words.
Then it hits you.
The recollection of that missed someone comes back or the weight of the world is pressing on your shoulders or both.
What do you do? Maybe you decide to power through and act like nothings wrong.
But what happens when you do that is you suppress the energy to build up again another day. Nothing you ignore can “just go away.”
So how do you deal with this stress and loneliness? Don’t feel the need that you should always keep it together.
It’s ok to break down and cry in the comfort of your own space (or anywhere.) It’s also ok to wail, and yell, and shout to release tension (not anywhere.)
What will bring lasting ease is the ability to go first into those feelings and then break them down, then letting them go.
That’s what will have you start anew.
Here’s a step by step process that I’ve designed for the art of healing and each section’s purpose:
Evoke: To bring to the conscious mind.
In this, it’s about going inward and finding out what’s wrong. There is no will, no need to mutate or configure what you want into how you want it.
It’s effortless awareness.
By observing your feelings and not judging them, what you’ll do is evoke an understanding of your problems. Why you can’t figure out what’s wrong or why you’re having a tough time is most likely because you haven’t uncovered the deep underlining root cause.
These come from deep-seated childhood memories that have been buried away for decades.
Sit in silence for about 20–30 minutes, wasting away in your own thoughts. Do not control your thoughts at this time, but instead, take a curious mind to what’s going on.
After a while, you’ll start to get images that are interesting. Those images will lead you somewhere special, somewhere that’s not 100% healed.
Keep going in or write down the situation that’s unfolding so that you can remember it for the next step.
Release: To set free; flow freely
Releasing might be the most important part of this process, although, each step is needed in a certain order to get the best results.
To release you must take that emotion or memory that you’ve uncovered in the Evoke stage and begin to allow it to dissipate from your body-mind-soul connection.
This is where forgiveness comes in.
When you start to forgive yourself, the people who have hurt you, and those situations that you’re unhappy with, what you do is set them free.
There’s no more carrying around the weight of the world from 10–15 years ago. It’s gone, just like the hour or the minute that passed.
Releasing can be tough. Sometimes you’re so upset about something that the last thing you want to do is forgive and forget, right?
That could be true, but realize that all you’re doing is carrying around the extra baggage to your next adventure. Sweaty old gym socks, dirty underwear, nasty shirts with pit stains. And who needs that shit?
If you want to release, it’s as easy as writing down or speaking verbally about your forgiveness. Then, although a more intense exercise, you can stretch your arms out to your side and begin to swivel them in large circles backward, faster and faster.
In a Shakti Naam yoga class I did, the instructor told us that this releases stress and baggage that you’re holding onto.
The point of this release stage is to feel good, and in order to feel good, you need to get all that nasty tension out of your body. Progressively increase the exercises from breathwork to hot yoga to anything that is going to get the sweat out of you and pull on your muscles.
This may take years, but years are the equivalent of the days you put together.
Transform: Make a dramatic change.
Transformation is something we are amazed by when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly in the act known as chrysalis.
This is something we humans do as well.
At this stage, you’ll be finding ways to enhance your self-love and self-acceptance. Because you’ve gone ahead and realized your problems and have done something about them by releasing them through forgiveness, it’s time to focus on the care you give yourself.
This is when we start to notice self-talk. We can begin by gently listening to our thoughts and now controlling them.
It’s important that you save this controlling of thoughts for this step because you don’t want to bias what’s wrong with you, but rather, how you speak to yourself.
In an act of generosity, write down 10 things you love about who you are. This can incorporate your body image, your creativity, your hard-work ethic, and anything that you’ve enjoyed about yourself since you’ve been born.
If you’re having trouble listing 10 things then we’re clearly in a disconnect and we need to get you on the horse of good, positive, and self-loving vibes.
Start listing out what you’re grateful for in your life and what helps you live more at ease.
Look in the mirror, at your right eye, and say aloud, “you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are amazing, I love you.”
Get naked and begin to dance in the comfort of your own space, feeling how enriching and beautiful your body is.
Life’s purpose is to enjoy ourselves and that starts with loving ourselves. The goal here is to be able, through time, to accept everything as is it and as you are so that you’re not trying to force yourself to be someone you’re not.
You’re loving on yourself for all the character and positivity you bring to each new day. And eventually, you transform into a new you ;)
Transcend: Go beyond limits
This is the section that takes a while to get to, however, once you’ve arrived it feels quite incredible. It’s the section that’s saved for those who have gone through the last 3 parts and they’re not looking back.
Of course, the previous 3 parts can act as refreshing tools in case you hit a stale moment.
As you transcend, you’ve discovered the new you and you know what you want. Now, day by day, you are acting the part that will have you reach your goal.
It’s the pushing of yourself to wake up early or stay up late, dedicating your time to what it is that makes you happy.
It’s going to the gym or yoga or pilates and pushing to your next limit in class and not stopping when your body wants to give out.
This is where runners are able to run for miles at a time and train for a marathon. Or writers who show up every day and press through even for those days they're uninspired.
What it takes to get here is you being honest with yourself.
Then each day, you continue to break down the walls you’ve formed in your mind. You are the cage and the bird.
Once you’re able to see the truth in your struggle, you’ll realize how refreshing it is to define what your struggle is or isn’t.
God bless ~ STW